An Undeniable Calling
"How is she out of milk and bread again?" I mumbled under my breath as I shut the car door behind me. I shook my head in frustration as I braved another blistering cold night, due in part to another depressing forecast filled with predictions of ice and snow. You know what happens when the weather man mentions snow? Yep, you guessed it; everyone floods the grocery store and that evening, indeed everyone did. I entered through the sliding doors wearing shorts, Adidas flips, long black socks and a Northface jacket which garnered looks from the people who dressed as if they planned to trek Antarctica. All I could do was laugh to myself which took some of the edge off of my annoyance. My mother, God bless her, sent me to the store for her when she passed several on her way home from work. I guess that was the perk of having a son.
I cruised through the different aisles trying my best to remember everything she asked me to pick up. Who was I fooling? After awhile I just grabbed what I saw and hoped for the best. When it was time to check out, I witnessed droves of people, aimlessly marched back and forth checking to see which lane had the least amount of people in it. In my line, the cashier passionately chatted with the lady in front of line, holding up our progress. Surrounded by perpetual grumbles, complaints and sighs, I stared ahead losing myself in my thoughts, as I often did. Something seemingly obscure happened in the middle of complete chaos that gnawed at my soul.
I always found myself scribbling ideas down on anything that I could get my hands on when inspiration struck. With the small basket in one hand and my phone in the other, I sent little text message notes to myself. Those messages included inspiring thoughts that appeared to come out of nowhere. Many of those thoughts have become the corner stone of many of my works in recent years. My mind always raced and inspiration seemed to have always visited me when I least expected it. Writing in particular, had always been a love of mine even though at the time, I rarely shared any of my writings with anyone. "Nah, who’d want to read that," I'd say to myself after finishing a collection of essays. I had a habit of starting blogs and starting books only to abandon them for other things. Every time I abandoned writing, the pull never left me. Teachers praised my literary prowess but I never believed in my own gift of expression and little did I know it would become my life's work. It always ate at me. Just like that night in the grocery store, no matter what happened around me, creativity would whisper in my ear even in the midst of all the noise. The world around me would slowly evaporate and I’d find myself alone with my thoughts.
When I got home that night, I sat down and looked at what I had written. Another written note to myself filled with my thoughs that I yet again prepared to keep to myself. Something lit up inside of me and It became clear to me, that I could run but not hide from my undeniable calling. Each of us were born with a set of gifts and talents that have the power to change the world us. It was hard for me to believe that I could affect someones life in a major way. Can you relate these feelings? Have you been running from your purpose? Perhaps you’ve been feeling the tug on your heart to start a non profit or business but have been putting it off due to fear. Or maybe you've written a collection of music but never shared it with anyone. How about the poem you wrote that could touch somebody’s life, but instead it’s buried at the bottom of your dresser drawer. These are just a few examples of how we could be dimming our own light.
Today, I encourage you to trust yourself with your gifts. And if you think you don't have any gifts or talents, I'm here to tell you, you do. It takes a concerted effort to discover why you’re here on this earth. Many people believe subconsciously they exist just to work, pay bills, have a tiny bit of fun and die. No, that’s not living at all. There’s no joy in that kind of mundane existence. We were meant for so much more. With focus and introspective self evaluation, you will discover the pot of gold you have buried deep within you. Perhaps these questions can get you started: What do you enjoy doing? What things really upset you that you wish you could change? What are your hobbies and greatest desires? Our gifts are often rooted in our natural interests. There are times the things that upset us the most are our problems to solve in the world. Listen deeply to your heart. If you're quiet enough, you can hear it speak to you. With one life to live, we owe it ourselves to embark on the very personal journey of discovering our undeniable calling. It’s when we discover our purpose that we begin to live life with unrelenting passion.