Life and Times
Facing the truth can be daunting. Accepting things as they are can feel like death, and in some ways, it is. Wishing things were different only prolongs the pain. We clinch, desperately holding on to what we thought would never change. You sense a difference, although they pretend things are the same. You see it in their eyes; you can feel the emptiness of their hollow words. “I’ve been busy,” they say, but you believe they’re making time for what matters most in their lives.
Relationships shouldn’t be disposable, but to ignore reality, is to invite pain and suffering. Perhaps you’re going through a period of transition where you’ve noticed some of your most meaningful relationships have fizzled out. The very people you used to kick it with, are nowhere to be found. The communication tapered off and you’re left wondering what happened.
I want you to take a step back for a moment and think of the people who are present in your life today. There are times we overlook the very people that have chosen to be connected because we’re focused on the people who’ve walked away. I’ve been there before; we all have.
Our lives are busier than ever: People get married, move away, and develop new interests. It happens. The love isn’t always lost; the relationship could’ve just evolved. We have to learn to be happy for people, even if we no longer have access to them. The reality is, nobody owes us anything, not even their time. People have the right to choose who they want in their lives and how they spend their time. We must honor this. It’s a tough lesson, but nonetheless valuable.
Relationships aren’t always easy, but they’re worth it. Communicate how you’re feeling. People don’t always realize they’ve been disconnected. We have to be willing to ask the tough questions, and also give space when needed. Have we been understanding or smothering? Have we ourselves been distant? Have we been extending grace? We have to be open and honest with ourselves; we have to be willing to listen. Relationships are like plants, they must be watered if they are to grow and flourish.
Perpetually one-sided relationships aren’t good for the soul. If you’ve done all you can to address where the relationship is, and there hasn’t been any progress, then you have to be willing to let go for your own sake. You can’t force people to be in your life. There are lots of wonderful people out there that will love and value your presence.
The good Lord will always bring the right people across our path. We must purpose to be present. Relationships of all kinds take work and intentionality. While we cannot control others, we can choose to honor the people in our lives. Remember to communicate, extend grace and be open. May we all nurture our meaningful relationships, they certainly do make life special.