When the Winds Change
Tanika and her mother shared laughs between each other as they took there seats at a posh restaurant that overlooked the Atlantic Ocean. The early afternoon sun caused their mocha skin to glow as the seaside Caribbean air played in their hair. Trips to St. Thomas in the winter have become a tradition for the two of them after Tanika’s father unexpectedly passed away just five short years ago. The two ladies who were having the time of their lives together. Adorned in their white sun dresses, there wasn’t a single cloud in the sky. They certainly picked a perfect Sunday to enjoy brunch.
“I love you so much, Tanika,” her mother said as she softly squeezed her hand. “You just make me so proud to be your mother.”
“Wow mom, thank you. What made you say that?”
A cool breeze caused her mother’s gorgeous gray curls to softly sway as she searched for the words to say.
“You’re beautiful, successful and an absolutely amazing daughter. Your father would be so proud of you. Thank you for always making time for me in your busy life.”
“You’re going to make me cry. Stop it, mom,” Tanika smiled in between wiping a tear from her eye.
The waiter appeared with a pitcher of water and introduced himself as Brandon to the ladies as they glanced over the menu. “Welcome to St. Thomas, where the water is always blue and the sky is full of sunshine. You two must be sisters,” he smiled as he poured water into their glasses. “Take your time ladies, I’ll come back to take your orders when you’re ready,” The ladies blushed and thanked him kindly. They continued their conversation while they decided what to eat."
“How’s your friend Bria?” her mother asked. “I haven’t seen her in so long. Those two young ladies at the table over there reminded me of ya’ll. You two have been inseparable ever since high school.”
“That’s a good question mom; I’m not sure. I’ve been reaching out to her and haven’t really heard back accept for a few short text messages. She’s been busy, she says.”
“I’m sorry love. It’s okay,” her mother replied with reassuring smile.
Tanika laid her menu down for a moment and rubbed her eyes. She didn’t say anything for a few minutes to gather her thoughts.
“We were supposed to go see PJ Morton a few months ago, but she never got back to me. None of my calls have been returned. I ended up going with someone else because I couldn’t wait anymore. I don’t get it. We’ve been best friends for so many years. I haven’t done anything to her. To be honest, It hurts.”
“I’ve been on this earth for sixty three years honey and I’ve had quite a few relationships that have changed. Life happens to the best of us. Maybe she’s going through something. You have to allow her to go through her process.”
“Her birthday was last month and I saw the pictures on Facebook. I didn’t even get an invite.“
Seeing that her question struck a nerve with her daughter, her mother nodded with compassion, feeling every word. The waiter returned and the ladies ordered their meals. A live band began to play in the restaurant, which temporarily distracted Tanika from continuing to think about a friendship that she once thought would never change.
***
One of the most difficult things in life to accept is change. There’s something about change that really shakes us to the core. We’re creatures of habit and we tend to find peace when things are the same. Like the precise hands of a clock, we too go through cycles. And just like the earth, our lives experience different seasons. Changes within our most treasured relationships are often taken the hardest. These changes happen for a myriad of reasons but they still hurt all the same.
I wish I could say all great relationships existed without end, but that’s just not reality. As much as we desire to continue to develop deep meaningful connections with certain friends and family, there are times when the other person disconnects and we can’t pinpoint how or where it evolved. But we feel it in our guts; we feel the difference. I’ve written this piece to encourage you today, if you’ve experienced this kind of shift in your life. Sometimes people grow apart for various reasons and you have to let the other person find themselves. There are times people go through things and genuinely don’t know what to do so they stay to themselves. Others get married, have children or their lives take them in different directions. It’s okay. As much as it may hurt, the best thing you can do is remember that we cannot force others to be in our lives. It’s not always about us.
May we each learn to be good friends. It’s easy to take our most precious relationships for granted. It’s equally easy to get caught up focusing all of our attention on the ones who walked away. I’ve learned to just go with the flow and allow people to be who they are, even if that means being apart from me. I’ve also learned to be thankful for the people who’ve been there from day one and continue to be there. This message is really about gratitude. Meaningful relationships make life special. In your quiet time today, I ask you to think of a three people who you haven’t talked too in awhile. Give them a call. Let them know you’re thinking about them. I also ask you to find three people who you talk to often, and thank them for being present in your life. Love is always there. Love is always present. When the winds change in life, just know that it will always be okay. There are people around you who love you and are glad you’re in their life. Remember this always.